Choosing Where Baby Sleeps

  Recently traffic on this blog skyrocketed, thanks to a link on Baby Cheapskate.   The content of their article was regarding a Montessori approach of using a floor bed rather than a crib.  This is the post they linked to.  It is about an infant environment and not truly about a floor bed.   Here are a couple of beautiful examples of families doing just this: Tall Tara  and Sew Liberated.   I have never posted on this method because it isn't one we were successful with. 

Enter background story:

 Our first daughter never slept in a crib and she did sleep on a mattress on the floor-but it was as a co-sleeping family.
 We co-slept with Ruth, for 4 years.  I nursed her on demand until she was 2.5 years old.  We were Dr. Sear's dream family.
 Here's the tricky part- I was miserable.
I  believed it was the right way to parent and was determined to accomplish attachment parenting regardless of our families best interests.  We were completely sleep deprived.  Ruth slept on top of me and remained latched on all night, for over two years.
My lactation consultant had me log her nursing for one week.  One day it was right at 18 hours!  In the beginning I also had to pump between feedings to try to get my milk supply up.  I never succeeded and she had a failure to thrive resulting in formula supplements, which basically became her meals, while I was the snack and constant pacifier.
At age three she had to be hospitalized in order to have 5 teeth crowned.  Yes, breast milk contains sugar and sleeping with it in your mouth, night ofter night, is very similar to sleeping with a bottle.
 I am not going to go into detail of my medical history/medications/conditions that caused the nursing problems.  You will have to trust me when I tell you I did all that -whatever your suggestion is, or what worked for your friend, and did I talk to Le Leche- and more.  (sorry, I am bit over people telling me what I should have tried.)
 The real problem was I lacked the confidence to trust myself more than a book and other people's opinions.   In my world NOT breast feeding, cloth diapering and co-sleeping is taboo.  In a perfect world that would be the path I stayed on.  The truth is children are not one size fits all.  Sometimes the shoe simply does not fit-not matter how we try to squeeze into it.
Would I do it all over again?  Hell no!
 Okay, actually I have to believe we did what was best for Ruth.  We may have had a rocky first few years, but by age three she was a dream and we haven't ever had 'discipline' problems.  (This is amazing because she will be 15 years old on Sunday.)  I attribute this, in part, to those first years which means it was worth it.  

 I can tell you though, we did things differently with our next three children!  We still co-slept with the second for a few months, less with the third and our fourth maybe a month.  They simply slept better and more regularly in a crib.  I also nursed each one less than the one before.   I am not advocating for any particular method.  I am advocating for parents to be willing to put parenting methods aside for their babies' best interest.  Only you know what is the best way to mama your baby and sometimes that means flexibility.  I am very proud that I learned to stand up for what is best for our family. 

  

Back to the original point of this post.
 If you are considering a floor bed or co-sleeping, (both wonderful choices) and aren't sure it is best for you, I think this makes a great choice.

BabyBay

We use a pack and play because of our limited space.  Had I known about the Baby Bay we would have used it instead. 

Montessori Toddler Hand Washing

I set up a hand washing station for Dorothy (20 mos.) earlier this summer.  I used her kitchen shelves-seen here before hand washing supplies.

She needed a step stool to be at the right height to reach the bowl.  Here is what you need to set up a hand washing station.

• medium sized basin (bowl)
• small pitcher
• water source
• small dish with travel sized soap
• bucket for used water
• hand towel
• apron

Model this for your child

1. put on an apron. (not necessary) 
2. use water dispenser to put water in the pitcher, (some mamas are more comfortable getting the water for their child)
3. pour the water into the basin
4. using soap, wash hands (love making bubbles!)
5. rinse in same water
6. dry hands on the towel-rehang towel
7. pour water out into the bucket (for us it is the big pot on the floor)
8. use towel to dry table, basin floor etc...

This will be messy.  Patiently help your child clean up spills.  It can be useful to place a towel on the floor for your child to stand on.  (less slippery)  They might spend a long time with the soap part, repeat parts over and over or lose interest in the middle.  This is all okay.  Be available but try not to hover.  I like to wait until help is asked for or absolutely needed.  

Activities like this one or drinking from a cup, feeding and dressing themselves require much more of you in the beginning.  More patience and a lot more clean up.  Persevere and within no time they will be able to do it with little or no assistance.

Early Art Appreciation

We sometimes forget when preparing our infants environment that less is more.    I love incorporating nature whenever possible. It lays a foundation for appreciating the Creator and seeing beauty where others might miss it.

I often get at my child's eye level to literally see from their point of view. This photo is the view from Dotty's swing. It reminded me of a Jackson Pollock painting.

Things We Do After Naps

Inspiration for "Things We Do After Naps" from Sew Liberated.  This is one of my absolute favorite blogs and Meg is the mother I long to be.  If you have never visited Sew Liberated, do it!

In true Pink House style, once again we are in the kitchen!

I have four daughters and only one, Dotty, is nap age.  (she turned two last month)  Dot almost always wakes up hungry.  The first place we go is the kitchen table where a snack is waiting.  A lot of times she needs to sit on my lap as she transitions back to the land of wakefulness.  An activity set out on the table also helps.  After a few snuggles she is ready to go!

   

Our homemade Halloween play dough made an appearance twice this week.

Nap time is also when I can get some cooking done.  I try to have one thing the older girls can prepare.  If they are still working when Dot gets up she will skip her snack in order to get right in on the action. 

This day we made pumpkin cinnamon rolls.

We changed things up one afternoon and instead of a snack in the kitchen, we had a tea party outdoors.

Dot's Shelves At 22mos.

Dot's shelves in our dining room

Bear puzzle with all but a few pieces removed.  She likes the two contrasting faces-happy & sad

Homemade play dough is always a favorite

I have the hardest time keeping the available books to a minimum

Shape sorting

Beads with only a few

Opening and closing

Opportunities Taken

On Thursday morning Grace rescued a bee from our kiddie pool.  This prompted a "bee day".  We baked honey cookies, colored and named the parts of a honey bee, watched an online video of honey making and read a story about bees.  

I am glad our schedule is flexible enough to follow spontaneous interest, spontaneously!  

Self Found Work

I have found Dotty has little interest in her shelves because she has freedom throughout our entire home. She is able to safely explore, developing independence.  I have the job of keeping the environment prepared while not restricting it to what I think she is ready for.  Following the child.  I think this quote from Maria Montessori says it well:

"Every living creature possesses the power to choose, in a complex and many sided environment, that thing, and only that, which is conductive to its life."

and

"allowing your child to choose, you are directly supporting their will development, and helping give them a sense of control and mastery of themselves.  This is so important for the development of a healthy self image and sense of worth. ....you can then sit back and observe your young child making reasoned and deliberate choices, and engaging with their chosen activity to a high degree.  This is rarely possible when you are busy orchestrating their day and when the main activities are chosen by you"

Opening and closing.  She does this the most repetitively of all her self found work.  

Pouring water.  Because she has access to dishes in the kitchen she was able to get a cup of water and another empty cup and begin transferring one to the other.

Velcro.  She loved to get this bike helmet and remove all the velcro strips-as soon as I out them back she would find it and remove them again.

She sat a long time taking the straw out and putting it back in.  (but first she finished off the latte)

Cause and effect/opening closing.  She loves to take the bath plug in and out.  Noticing the effect on the water level.

Please consider if your Montessori space within your home is too restricted and separate from the rhythm of daily life.   Go easy on yourself and your children.  I have noticed a trend of well meaning moms studying the method more than being a student of their child.  Know the child.

On another note, this will be my last post on this blog.  Please come on over to Life in a Pink House where I will continue to weave Life in the Pink Tower post throughout.  

Dot's Montessori Shelves At 16mos.

I love this age.  It is so exciting to observe Dot at 16mos with all the new things she is doing, wanting to do and attempting to do. .  Busy!  Busy!

Here is a small glimpse of what she is up to at the moment.

A string of beads was recently broken and beads went all over the floor.  As Dot and I were picking them up and putting them in a container I decided to try this.  It is a fish shaped bath tub gripper.  The little suction cups are perfect for putting beads in.  She did a few but was most interested in taking the ones I put in out.

Here are her animal figures for matching to their pictures.  I introduced her to these animals on a trip to the zoo recently.  I prefer her to see the real thing before I give her the figure. 

As Fun As A Box Of Rocks

Here is a little activity Dotty (1yr) discovered while playing in her sister's room.  Grace (5) keeps some special rocks in an empty wipe container.  The rocks are ones she found and then a friend of hers polished for her in his rock tumbler.  ( I was pretty amazed they were the same rocks when he gave them back!)  Dotty likes to take the rocks out one by one and them put them back in through the slot at the top of the box.  It involves nature and recycling, reflecting you don't need to spend much money on children's activities.

Grace uses the same materials with the addition of magnifying glass and the book 'Let's Go Rock Collecting' to sort and identify her rocks.

Family Timelines

Sequence, history, chronology, are extremely abstract concepts for children.  We have inadvertently created a lesson in a pictoral timeline.  I have always had a wall of our kitchen full of collage frames picturing family.  This helps the girls understand their history and where they fit into the larger picture.  It begins at one end and has grown across the wall in (almost) chronological order.  We have all our meals and spend a lot of time in the kitchen.  I believe all children start out as visual learners and this wall is part of their learning from the beginning.  I also value story telling to pass on family history and this wall of pictures prompts many.

Christmas Tree Work

Remember Montessori encourages using the real thing (ie real tools not toys) Christmas trees are no exception.  Playdough, felt, and foam trees can be a fun craft but it definitely isn't the real thing. We keep a small basket of sturdy ornaments near our tree.   The way I look at it, it is 'work' to take the ornaments on and off the tree.  This work needs no encouragement as it happens naturally any time you have a toddler and a Christmas tree.  Saying "no" gets old and putting everything out of reach seems cruel. Create a safe place and say "yes"!

Montessori High Chair=The Weaning Table

Life in the Pink Tower: Montessori Weaning Table

This is the post from Life In A Pink House that gets the most views daily.  Thought I'd cross it over.

  A weaning table could be  considered the Montessori high chair.  It is where baby sits for her first meals.  I received this as a shower gift for Ruth nearly 14 years ago and all our girls have used it.  Dotty is now sitting up which is one way I know she is ready for her turn with the table.  The table is just the right size and the chair,  a cube chair, has three high sides to help her balance.  I sit across from her to feed her.  We begin with a bowl of Earth's Best apples.  It is a good idea to give baby a spoon to grasp herself while you feed her with another.  It is messy because I do not restrain her hands- although I do keep a tight hold of the bowl.  Ideally the table would be set with a placemat and napkin but I won't introduce those for a few months.  Today I let her feed herself by putting a couple of crackers on the table.  I still sat with her and helped her with the water.  I put very little water in a saki cup, most of it is dribbled -but she loves it!  The girls have learned very early to drink from a cup rather than a sippy.  (We do use sippy's on walks or in the car.)  I try to avoid plastic dishes of any kind to avoid chemicals, but that said I do a have a couple in our rotation.
I am not trying to rush her into a cup but rather respect her desire to imitate what she sees modeled by her family.  I do not think children should be 'pushed' to achieve anything, instead I observe and watch for her readiness.  It is often sooner than expected.  I also think not introducing something when baby is ready for it because 'the books' say 6 months, or whatever, is just as bad.  You know your baby best.  Mine always want to eat around 4 mos.  (Dotty also already has 8 teeth.)
We also have a traditional high chair.  I have used it since the beginning because it fully reclines.  I highly recommend one that does.  It serves the same purpose as a bouncy seat, only I prefer not to have one of those in the kitchen for safety reasons.  If I put it on the floor I worry something may spill on her or if it is on the table I worry another child might pull it down unintentionally.   I don't really use the high chair tray.  I like to pull the high chair right up to the table when the family is eating.  We share with her what we can. (Right now that means a green bean, oatmeal and crackers.)  I also have a small wooden restaurant style high chair that we will use at the table, because I am anxious to get the big plastic one out of the kitchen.
  The last point I would like to touch on is the freedom allowed with the weaning table.  There aren't any straps or buckles.  Baby can make up her mind when she is finished or let me know she would like to eat by climbing into her chair.  She only gets to eat when sitting.  A lot of times parents have the problem once a child moves out of their high chair that the child will not stay seated for a meal.  Giving the child this freedom from the start eliminates this issue.  Food throwing can also be an obstacle for parents when their child is in a high chair.  This can be because the child has no other way to communicate they are done or is forced to stay in their high chair for too long.

  I am very excited we have the table in use once again.  That said I am not a purist and like I said I balance between high chair and weaning table.   As always remember YOU know your baby best!

One Potato

I am a big fan of helping children follow their food from as close to its source as applicable and to the table.  This can include gardening, markets, and helping in the kitchen.  This day Dot helped by washing a potato.   Here is all it took;

•  towel 
• dish pan with small amount of warm water
• child sized scrub brush (I bought ours here.)
• smock (she doesn't leave it on very long)
• potato ( or yam, gourd, carrot etc.)

This activity took place before her nap so she could wake up to a yummy baked potato for snack.  (we shared)
Here are similar post.
Play With Your Food
Sensorial Explorer
Pie Trees

Montessori On A Budget

Life In The Pink Tower: This Instead Of That

Yesterday I mentioned I was going to share a few ways to use Montessori in the home without having to spend a lot of money.   Above you see a Montessori permanence box that retails anywhere from $25-$45.  So what can you do?  Play peek a boo!  

Baby In The Kitchen

Life In The Pink Tower: Baby In The Kitchen

A couple of fun activities we have done lately.  The first set was a "think fast, need to get dinner made-baby underfoot" solution.  Empty egg carton and a few dried beans did the trick.  (Although next time I'll use less beans.)  She did think it was fun to pretend to put them in her mouth and look at me for a reaction.

The second set is slicing bananas.  This type of slicer I highly recommend.  I was making banana bread but this could also be done simply for a snack.  Notice she has her cheeks full!  I did a shot from above so you can see al that is needed to prepare each activity.

We really do not need a lot of expensive toys that serve limited purpose and end up collecting dust in the garage.  There are so many great things readily available in our homes.